You Scatter Like Stars

too near the bone.


seems like years.
MISS ME
blacklightglitz

Colorblind --the dresden dolls

i love you like a brother
and i love you like a child
and i love you like a lover
and i love you dumb and colorblind
and i love you like a mother
even after all you've done
and i love you like no other
but i know
youre not the one...

and i loved you in bright orange
and in violet and in green
and i loved you in such colors
as your eyes have never ever seen
and i loved the way you acted
but your one trick pony's dead
and i loved you unprotected
but you only love in
red

i know its dark for good
i never listen when i should
you only see in black and white
so go on back to your own kind
and i'll go back to mine

i love you like a brother
and i love you like a child
and i love you like a lover
and i love you dumb and colorblind
and i love you like a mother
even after all she's done
and i love you like no other
but i know youre not the one...


[ for anthony ]


in remedy we find.
Vintage
blacklightglitz
my lilly pie has been one years old for a week now.
god.. and i have another niece/nephew on the way.
i can't believe how fast time passes.

the on-going battle with andrew is now at a stand still. we made a truce but so far i still never believe what he says to me and i can never trust him. im just weary.. because he knows what to say and in the end i still always get hurt.
i wish i knew how to stop.

Grinch
blacklightglitz
it never feels like christmas anymore.
and i fuckin' hate the new year.

another sleepless night..
witchyeebaybee
blacklightglitz
it's almost 5 in the morning
and im barley getting sleepy
i've been drinking water immensley & peeing every like 10;15 mins
fuck..
im just like i dont know. bewildered.
i lost a friend of mine recently b/c of a fight over me not going to see her
& im just tired. always tired. and how? i dont even fuckin know b/c i DO NOTHING.
man i want to return to an age where it was ok not to give a fuck about things.
being a grown up sucks ass.

Girl;;Monster
Thinking of you
blacklightglitz
im gonna build a wall where things cease to exist and shit dont matter.

&&. i love you ever more..
blacklightglitz

trace me over
but dont scratch the paint
im wondering
where is the eyes in ice & 
freezing breath on window [fresh] panes
Just to be left
I am the most delicate [but stero-typical narcosis]
I tinge the fact that i take my own sound mind
& refuse to quiet its ruptured spleen
set fingers [slip] to leave [stay] but replace [subdue] & relent
I am whats ticking in your ears 
so awnser [wink me a song]
when i call your barcode a silly act of breaking the stone
barriers will be missed
& siren lipsincs will be interpreted
[wail for a birth right & a chance to gobble the beast]
alive
& not attempted 
not acquitted [nor properly outdated]
i feel so
inadequate



fuck i love him..
& i cant even write for him anymore...


Just Missing My Lilly Pie
Goosebumbed-Plumeria
blacklightglitz
i miss her oh so much..








You fucking tweaker..how dare you
Im Ugly
blacklightglitz
he threatened to kill me.
for telling him he's a liar
a tweaker
and i hate him
i pushed him away. for good.
he's never going to call me ever again
i am no longer under his thumb, i am no longer being dangled on the end of a thin string
he cant get near me
he'll always be a dead memory
his words wont leave my mind
and i should feel free and not moarn such a thing
he has done far more damage in trying to love me
he can rott and remine stale, broken beyond remedy
because no one
and i mean NO ONE
will ever love the way i loved him
but sometimes i wish he would kill me...

could lies build a truth?
blacklightglitz
so it's like getting to a point where you know i know myself, but not enough to save myself from self destruction.
i cant believe i did it again.
its been over two years.
and i just cant believe i did it again.

what the fuck is wrong with me??
i cant cut myself open hoping to find an outlet anymore.
i dont know where my head is at anymore.. and him calling didn't help the fucking situation when i was devasted over him NOT calling.

GOD I FUCKING HATE HIM !!!!

[its easier to blame him for everything...]

Nowhere girl
blacklightglitz
i miss having some sort of purpose to wake up in the morning..

you can only stretch the lie so far before it breaks...

?

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